The Stigma
Okay right off the top, there’s two elephants in the room that need to be addressed. I’d like to start first with the stigma that comes with having a significant age gap between you and your partner. And the stigma goes both ways. Older guys get grief about dating a younger woman just as much as the younger woman does about dating a older guy. Friends, family and acquaintances are all gonna have their opinion, but that’s all it is… their opinion. You shouldn’t judge someone else’s relationship because you’re not in it, and you don’t know what you think you might know. If two people really connect with each other, that’s it. That’s all that matters. What else really needs to be said?
She only wants your money
Next, we need to talk about money. Because I can already see the comments now that’ll say that women only care about older guys with tons of money and a Lamborghini. I hear the same comment over and over, and yes, it is true. SOME women only want rich guys. I’ll assume you don’t want those women anyway, so why even stress about it or complain about it?
Listen my friend, please know this.. I only want the best for you, so here’s some tough love. Let’s go crazy and say that 10% of the single female population only wants a guy with loads of money. You don’t want them anyway, so they don’t even count. At some point, the guys who complain, have to take responsibility and stop blaming everyone or everything else. Avoid having a victim mentality or using excuses why you can’t get a date. Chances might be, you’re trying to date the wrong women. The good news is, if you take away that 10%, that leaves you with 90% of the female population to work with. I’m not even sure where the complaints are coming from because that’s a pretty large piece of the pie you have to work with.
Finances are important to both of you
The reality is this, finances are just as important to her as it is to you. Because let’s face it, at this point in your life, you don’t want to date someone who’s broke either. Women see a financially stable man as a secure, but financially stable DOES NOT have to mean wealthy. Women find a man extremely sexy who’s driven, responsible, motivated and has goals. It’s the independence, mental stability and maturity that women are attracted to. I promise you, it’s not all about Lamborghini’s. Because think about it.. super cars attract a lot more attention from dudes than they do women.
Older men are more mature and less needy
Older guys are more mature, more independent, less needy and less reactive. It’s true, older men are just a lot more chill and we don’t get rattled as easily as younger guys do. There’s less game playing, because honestly, older men don’t have time for it. And playing silly games doesn’t nurture relationships. Neither does ghosting anyone. Women are attracted to that, and to the fact that older men are a lot more open with conversations about relationships. Because they’ve been around the block a few times and have experience. Older men also make decisions faster and we’re a lot more attentive to our partner.
Older men are better in bed, period.
Speaking of experience and being attentive to our partner, the simple fact is this, older men are better in bed… period. They know how to treat a woman better than younger guys. And younger women know the difference and are attracted to that for obvious reasons. Older men are more attentive, and more patient and more into pleasing their partner and making sure she gets to climax. There’s a learned patience through experience that older men have and sex for us can last a very long time.
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Insecurities about remaining relevant
Here’s another thing, older men can also be insecure about the simple fact of getting older and staying relevant and knowing what’s trendy. If an older guy is with someone younger, he might worry about missing pop culture references and seeming out of touch. Men also fear that as we age, will she still be attracted to us? Here’s the thing, you do not need to impress her because chances are, she’s trying to impress you. You’re the older guy with history and leadership and wisdom. If the relationship is new, she’s probably trying to see where she fits in with your life and she’ll probably even test you.
She WILL test you
If, and when she tests you in conversation (because she probably will), don’t over-explain anything. A perfect example is age. If she asks how old you are, just tell her. Look my friend, you’ve been on this planet long enough to not have to explain around your age. Don’t say; “I’m 53 but I work out and eat right and do all this other stuff to stay young”. Just own it. If she pokes you about it and says you’re her dad’s age, keep your cool and say, “Maybe after a few more dates, you can take me to meet him sometime.” That’s being confident and letting her know your intentions. I mean, if you like her, your intentions are to continue seeing her right?
Confidence is Certainty.
We talk about confidence all the time, but what is confidence? It can mean a lot of different things, but I like to think the definition of “Confidence as Certainty”. That makes a lot of sense. Confidence is sexy, to both men and women. Most men I know WANT to be with a confident woman. So, here’s the deal… If you meet a young woman, your actions should be conveying that you’re a great option for her. If you’re not certain that you’re a great option, you’ve already lost because that’s what you’re projecting, and she will pick up on that.
The ‘Friend-Zone’
I’ve said flat out to women I’ve just met if there’s a flirtatious chemistry happening “We definitely need to connect and go out this Friday.” Confidence and certainty is also letting your intentions be known. You can be nice, and I’m a pretty nice guy, but if you’re just acting like her friend, you just put YOURSELF in the friend zone. You did that, not her. Think about James Bond. He’s as cool under pressure as they come, and he’s always portrayed as older. There’s a reason for that.
Women like what they like
Women know what they like, and so do men. If a woman is attracted to older men, that’s it, you don’t have to over think it. If you like redheads, you like redheads or women with dark skin or big butts, it’s the same thing. You like what you like and so does she. She’s not out to get anything from you. She likes you, because you’re you. I’ve heard from a lot of men who’ve said dating is a lot easier now than it was when they were in their 20’s and 30’s. And I would absolutely have to agree with that.
Older men have a better sense of style
Women are also drawn to older men because they have a better sense of style, especially you because you subscribe to my YouTube channel. She’ll probably compliment you on your overall style or a particular item you’re wearing. It happens to me all the time because here’s the deal. Most older guys loose their sense of style somewhere in their early 30’s and they get stuck and stop trying. But you know what’s stylish and that gives you a huge advantage. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
The research
I read a study of 2,000 women that found that poor style is a deal breaker. 60% of women said that taste in clothes was the top dating turn off. Another study commissioned by Men’s Health Magazine questioned more than 1,000 women ages 21 to 54 in two separate polls. They found that women ranked a man’s “sense of style” as one of the top 10 traits women want in a man.
Another study by Kelton research a few years ago, found that the vast majority of women (85% to be exact), think a guy who dresses well is sexier than the guy with a lot of money. Also, that eight in ten women (80%) would give up something in their lives, like going out to dinner, using their cell phone, or even having sex for an entire year – for a better-dressed partner. Younger guys don’t understand this yet, but you and I, we do.
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