It’s not about the BIG things
Being spontaneous isn’t always about the big things. Like throwing a dart at a map and buying plane tickets to that place that day, or buying a convertible because you saw it as you were driving by a car lot. Being spontaneous can be as simple as driving a different route to work or striking up a conversation with the person in line with you at the grocery store. Some people, like me for example, are just more spontaneous than other people. Then there’s the people that are overly spontaneous and take it too far. Like getting spur of the moment Tattoos or spending your mortgage on a pair of shoes just because you’re in Vegas for the weekend.
Sit in a chair and see what you feel like doing
I read an article from a phycologist that talked about picking a day when you’re not at work to just sit in a chair and see what you feel like doing. It might take a little bit, and that’s okay. Just sit until you start to have images that pull you in a specific direction. Don’t fight it. Once it starts to become clear, do it. Don’t worry about planning the whole day. Just focus, then act. It could be as simple as sending someone an email you haven’t talked to for a while. Or making cookies or delivering a bunch of water bottles to the homeless. Or even getting in your car and taking a 4 hour road trip to that really cool place you’ve been wanting to go see.
What is your day-to-day routine?
Before I get into my list of spontaneous things you can do, here’s a couple things you should think about if you’re struggling to be spontaneous. Take a look at your regular day-to-day routine and take note of all the same routines you do every day. Also, look at the reasons why you always do the same things and have the same routines. Is it out of convenience, or fear? Identifying how routine-based your daily life is can help you to start making small, spontaneous changes.
Do you always go to the same coffee shop because it’s close by? Leave 10 minutes earlier and go to a different one. Maybe you always set your alarm at 6:30am. Be spontaneous tomorrow and set it for 6:00 and go for a walk. Fill up at a different gas station. Get take-out from a different restaurant. Now, don’t get me wrong though. I’m not saying you have to stop doing the things you like to do. Because a lot of the routines we have actually make our lives easier. But on the other hand, a lot of the routines we have serve no purpose other than that’s just what we’ve always done.
Get comfortable with small risks
I talk about getting outside your comfort zone all the time, and that’s part of the goal here. Getting comfortable with taking small risks. Because once you realize that the thing you fear doesn’t happen when you do something spontaneous, you’ll gain more confidence. Not only that, but you’ll realize that because you did the thing your gut wanted to do, you’ll start trusting your gut more. Because after all, that gut feeling and your gut reaction is usually right.
Plan a last minute trip
Okay, first on my list of how you can be more spontaneous is to plan a last minute trip. This can be somewhere you fly to, or a simple stay-cation like a hotel or a nice AirBNB across town. I’m all about last minute trips but it doesn’t have to be fancy. Just something different. Different scenery, different furniture and a different environment can spark creativity and give your soul more space to breathe.
Buy your partner a small gift
If you’re in a relationship, buy your partner or spouse a small gift, just because. Again, this doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Just listen and pay attention. Maybe she’s been complaining about the broken handle on the spatula. Or the sandals she likes to wear that she says are falling apart. How hard would it be to get the brand and the size from that pair, and jump on Amazon and get a new pair? What about the next time you’re out, you pop into Target and get that new spatula? It’s simple, spontaneous and you’ll rack up some extra brownie points.
Have more random spontaneous sex
Speaking of brownie points, next is have more random and spontaneous sex. Spontaneous sex can be some of the hottest and most passionate sex you’ll ever have. But, you can’t always have it just because YOU want it. The key is to know and understand your partner. Here’s the thing.. If you’re always the one asking for sex and always getting turned down, maybe you’re asking at the wrong times. If you’re always super horney in the morning, maybe she doesn’t feel fresh enough in the mornings. Maybe she, or you needs mouthwash first. Have an open conversation about it and take that opportunity to listen and learn. Speaking of learning, getting to know each other’s love languages can absolutely be beneficial. Google Love Language quiz and take it together.
Maybe it’s noon on a Sunday and you’re feeling spicy. Start flirting playfully. Send her some spicy texts. Walk up behind her and gently massage her shoulders. Sweep her hair away and lean in and kiss her neck once or twice and tell her she’s beautiful and sexy. Then give her shoulders another squeeze and walk away. This is definitely going to leave her wanting more. Come back and do it again in a few minutes. Be a little more handsy, but not grabby. Be gentle and move slowly with a light touch. Most women don’t want to be grabbed all the time. They want to be caressed. Now, if this is different than your normal signals for sex, give it a try. Work up to it and keep flirting with her. It might take a little while, but trust me, if you keep at it and focus on her, you can have some of the best sex you’ve had in a long time.
Just say; YES!
Say YES to every opportunity. I’ve talked about this before where a few years ago I made it a point to say yes to just about every new experience and new opportunity that presented itself. I met some amazing people and had incredible experiences that I’ll never forget. As long as you’re being safe, saying yes to new things is a great way to expand and to be more spontaneous.
Case in point.. Just last weekend we were out with our 4-month-old puppy. We ended up going to a winery to get a early dinner. The place was packed and they were fully committed with reservations for the night. Another couple came in with their puppy (they had a reservation) and we started talking about the dogs. The dogs were playing really well and they asked that we join them at their table for dinner. What do you think I said… Yes. Also, don’t be afraid to be the one asking.
Don’t over-think it. If you feel like doing something, do it. The more you trust your feelings, the more open, confident, and spontaneous you become. You’ll start to have more things to talk about. You’ll start to have experiences you otherwise wouldn’t, you’ll meet interesting people and learn new things. The dinner I just mentioned, the guy was a lead engineer for Space-X. We talked about the launches he was involved in and I learned new things. On the drive home, we talked about what a fun night we had and how cool it was to have a nice casual dinner with complete strangers.
Have a naked day
Next up, have a naked day. Or maybe a naked morning or something I don’t know…It’s your house. Cook yourself breakfast naked. Do the laundry or fold clothes naked. Vacuum the house naked. Now, if that idea makes you uncomfortable… Good. Getting comfortable with being a little uncomfortable is progress towards being more spontaneous. And there’s not a damn thing wrong with being naked in your own house. Just be careful about the neighbors.
Plan a dinner party
Lastly, plan a dinner party. This can either be entertaining at your place or making a dinner reservation for a group of old friends and new friends. Personally, I’ve been thinking about hosting a white party for the last few weeks. I keep thinking about it, so I know it’s something I need to do. I’ve never been to a white party before and I want to go to one. So, what better way to go to a white party than to throw one myself. If you don’t want to do a white party, do a Hawaiian party or a Western party. Just see if you can make it interesting.
I hope you picked up a nugget or two that you can use to break out of your comfort zone and be more spontaneous.
