Living in the Past
The first bad habit you need to get control of and eliminate as much as possible, is living in the past. Hear me out. We live in the present, not the past, so you need to stop picturing yourself in the past and beating yourself up for some poor decisions you’ve made. All those, should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve are done and you can’t do anything about it. Say that to yourself if you need to. You can’t move forward if you’re always looking back. Think of it like driving down the freeway looking in the rear-view mirror the whole time. You’re going to crash. What’s done is done, good or bad. Whatever it was happened, and you can’t change it or undo it. It’s time to learn from it, let it go, and put one foot in front of the next and move forward.
Trust me, I’ve been there. I even made a very personal video about it. If you’re interested in hearing some of my story, I’ll link that video here. I was very close to being homeless and if it wasn’t for some family, I would’ve been. As long as there’s air in your lungs my friend, you can make it out. Let’s keep going.
The next one, and say it with me; No more negative self talk. Think of it like this, you would never say to a friend… “You’re so stupid” “You suck at everything” “I can’t believe you screwed that up again”. “You’re such a looser”. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, you don’t get to say it to yourself. So the next time you start beating yourself up like that, remember that and flip the switch and stop it. I’m not saying you can’t be disappointed about something, but the inner, negative self-talk and name-calling needs to get be controlled.
Keeping Everything Bottled Up Inside
The next big mistake I see is not talking about things and keeping everything bottled up inside. As men, it’s ingrained into our DNA to not talk about things. “Just man up and deal with it”. While a BIG part of me identifies strongly with that, I’m not so sure I agree with it anymore. Talking things out helps in a dramatic way. For me though, the problem is, I don’t have a lot of people in my social circle that I’m able to confide in. There’s a few, but for the most part, I just have a lot of social friends and acquaintances. So that’s why I started talking to a professional.
And for me, I didn’t want anyone to fix me, right. I just wanted to say out loud what was bothering me and get help with not feeling like shit all the time. And there’s nothing wrong with that. This is why I’m thankful to Better Help for coming on board today to sponsor this video and to help support the channel. On a personal level, I’ve wanted to make a video like this for a while. And because Better Help reached out, it was perfect timing.
What’s Interfering With Your Happiness?
Take a minute and think… is there something interfering with your happiness? Or maybe it’s also preventing you from achieving your goals. Some of you know exactly what that is while some of you might not be so sure. For me, and this is personal. My biggie right now is not feeling worthy of the goals I’ve set for myself. I want to achieve certain things, and I know what those are, but the hard part for me is feeling like an impostor or that I’m not worthy of attaining what I want.
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Re-calibrate Your Responsibilities
Next is to reallocate your daily responsibilities. I was listening to Matthew McConaughey on a podcast recently and he said that stress throughout the day is like all the things you have to do that day including your tasks and your responsibilities, are like weights stacked vertically on top of your shoulders. Everything you have to do becomes stressful and feels like everything is piled on top of everything else. Instead of feeling that weight, do something everyday that allows all of those elements to now be laid out horizontally in front of you. Like exercise or just moving your body every day.
All of those things you have to get done that day, all of the sudden become more manageable. Because now, they’re laid out in front of you and you can just pick them up one at a time and cross them off your list. For me, when I heard him say that, a light-bulb went off. There’s so many times that I end up getting paralysis because I have so much to do, I don’t know where to start. I’ve got all of these things I need to get done on a daily basis and most all of them have tight deadlines. I can tell you, since I’ve started exercising more first thing in the morning, my head feels clearer and that allows me to be a lot more efficient with my time and my responsibilities.
Fear of Change
The next bad habit that’s ruining your life is fear of change. Do Not be afraid of change. Embrace it. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1000 times. You are never too old and it’s never too late to make a change in your life or start something new. Everything changes and that’s a fundamental part of life. Trying to stop change is impossible. So why try? But here’s the beautiful part about embracing change. When you’re open to new things, you become a happier person because fear is a negative emotion.
Being open to change, as well as being open to new things helps keep your mind active and you start feeling more youthful and energized. As we get older, we tend to just like things simple and prefer to keep things the way they are. Try this; Instead of just automatically squashing some new idea, or some new thing, just be open to it and figure it out first. If you discover that it doesn’t work for your lifestyle, that’s fine. But at least you tried something new and learned something.
Know Where You’re Going
Next, know where you’re going, or where you want to be. Because think about it; If you don’t have a goal or a path, you’ll never end up in that place you want to be. It’s like jumping in your car and starting to drive with no direction. Versus jumping in your car and knowing that you want to eventually end up in Dallas. If I’m in southern California, I know I need to start traveling East, and that’s my path. Not every single pit-stop needs to be mapped out, but at least I know that if I keep going East, I’ll get there.
So, right now, what direction do you want your life to go? Now, this isn’t an opportunity to get down on yourself and wish your life was something else. But right now, starting right where you are, what direction do you want your life to go? You’re in control of your own direction. Direction causes you to make decisions based on your path and your direction which ultimately brings you joy and happiness. Instead of reacting to life as is passes you by because you’re driving around aimlessly looking for a sign, think about where you want your life to go. If you’re looking for that sign, this is it.
If you’re not happy where you are on your path in life, something has to change. Think about it and really ask yourself a serious question about where you’re going and if the path you’re on right now is leading you there. Or if it’s a path that leads to a place you don’t want to go. Or maybe you don’t know where the path leads. You don’t have to stress out about it, but know whether or not you need some direction. Having a goal straightens the road.
Saying NO to New Opportunities
The next bad habit that might be ruining your life is saying No to new opportunities. I’ve talked about this before in several other videos and even told the story about the time I said yes to every single opportunity that presented itself to me. I had some amazing experiences that came out of just saying yes to things. I met awesome people and had incredible personal experiences that I’ll never forget. All because I said yes to opportunities that presented themselves.